


Possibilities

by DisappointMe



Category: Star Trek RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-17
Updated: 2014-08-17
Packaged: 2018-02-13 11:53:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2149785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DisappointMe/pseuds/DisappointMe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Zach sees Chris for what he could be (and maybe already is).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Possibilities

**Author's Note:**

> Reposting from LJ.

Zach smiles and smiles and smiles and even though his face feels like it’s on fire, he keeps smiling. Cameras flash in his direction and he smiles. Strangers come up to him with a consolatory clasp to the shoulder and he smiles. He congratulates winners and he smiles. 

If he has to smile for one more fucking second, he’s going to start throwing punches.

It’s stupid, he knows it’s stupid but he just can’t _help it_ and he wants just one minute to wallow in pity and feel sorry for himself. One minute. But he can’t because he has to be the gracious loser who was just happy to be nominated, even though he isn’t. Gracious. Happy to be nominated. He’s honest enough with himself to admit that he really wanted to win.

When he’s finally able to slip away and disappear unnoticed into the ocean of mingling people, the first thing he does is shove his way to the bar and order a double vodka soda. The bartender slides it in front of him with what he would swear with his dying breath is a pitying smile and he nods and tries to smile back with something that’s more like a grimace. He’s no more than three sips into his drink before Chris is at his side being flirty and charming and _Chris_ and Zach’s so surly that he can’t even appreciate the way Chris’s fingers brush against his side as he leans in to make some asinine comment about the ceremony. Zach grunts a response and expects Chris to keep running his mouth, but he doesn’t. 

Instead, Chris goes completely silent and just stands beside him as he broods over his still-not-strong-enough drink and stares into the middle distance. Chris’s presence should be comforting, a nice distraction from the evening, but in truth it does little more than further piss him off because he’s just _waiting_ for Chris to say The Wrong Thing, and he hasn’t yet which is just making Zach anxious. And crankier.

Zach nods his heads towards a small group of ex-Disney actresses who look like they’re chomping at the bit to sully their squeaky-clean images and then turns to Chris, “That’s a whole section of Young Hollywood you haven’t fucked yet. If you pop a Viagra you just may be able to bang all four of them tonight.”

But Chris doesn’t even flinch, doesn’t acknowledge that he even heard him and it takes all of the fight right out of him.

“Sorry,” he mutters, turning back to the bar and lifting his glass to his lips. He finishes his drink in one long pull, the vodka that had settled at the bottom burning thick and slimy in the back of his throat. “I’m sorry.”

Chris just nods, murmuring an “I know” so soft Zach has to strain to hear it.

They settle into silence and Zach’s feeling the buzz that comes with too much too fast, and he considers flagging the bartender down and getting smashed, but Chris is pulling him away, guiding him through the crowd with a strong hand at the small of his back. He leads them out a back door, down a hall, and into a stairwell. It’s poorly lit and kind of cold and Zach wants to ask how Chris knew this was here, but what comes out is, “Look, I know it’s our usual thing but I’m really not in the mood to suck your dick.”

Chris closes in on him, reaching out and hooking his fingers into the belt loops of Zach’s trousers, pulling them so there are only inches between them. When he sees the understanding in Chris’s too-bright blue eyes, he finally lets the frown that’s been hiding beneath those smiles creep onto his face. Chris stays quiet and perfect and so _Chris_ that Zach breaks.

“I just wanted it so much, Chris. _So much_ ,” he finally admits aloud. The crippling disappointment of the night washes over him and he leans against Chris, feeling stupid and pathetic and hating himself for it. “I wanted to win. I deserved to win. I’m not saying I was better than anyone else, but I deserved it, too. I worked so hard.”

Chris’s lips are warm against his temple, his arms strong around his waist, his voice rough and _sad_ , like Zach’s disappointment is his own. “You did. I know you did. I wanted this so much for you. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

He turns his face into Chris’s neck and breathes him in for a very long minute before stepping back. He reaches out and takes Chris’s face in his hands, his thumbs brushing against stubbled cheek bones and gives his first genuine smile in hours. It‘s small, but he means it. He brings their foreheads together, eyes crossing so he can still look at Chris, who responds by reaching up and wrapping his hands around Zach’s wrists and giving a smile that does something funny to Chris’s eyes and Zach’s heart. Zach closes his eyes and kisses Chris softly, intimate in a way that isn’t familiar to them, but maybe should be.

Chris releases Zach’s wrists to rest one hand against his hip and the other at the nape of his neck, fingers brushing gently into his hair. Zach hums against his lips, and Chris breaks the kiss, pressing a tiny kiss to the corner of Zach’s mouth that fills the pit of his stomach with some warm, unidentifiable emotion.

“Better?” Chris asks.

Zach lets his hands linger a moment longer before dropping them and stepping away. He answers honestly, “Yeah. Yeah, it is.”

Wordlessly, he turns and heads out and down the hall, stopping just before the door that will take them back into the party. “And you know, maybe there’s next year, right? I mean, what are the possibilities?”

Chris takes too long to respond so Zach turns to face him. He feels the faintest brush of Chris’s hand against his own and just barely catches the glint of mischief in Chris’s eyes as he pulls the door open. He leans in and succeeds in stealing a brief kiss before slipping inside. He’s paces ahead of Zach before he throws a smile over his shoulder and answers:

“Endless.”


End file.
